Acceptance vs. Agreement

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

Knowing the difference makes ALL the difference.

“Some of our greatest successes come from unconditional acceptance of all aspects of life.” ~Sterling Mire

My clients often ask me, “How can I possibly accept something if I don’t like or agree with it?” My answer is simple: Avoid resistance. I’ll explain. The reason why avoiding resistance is the solution to the problem is because what we resist will persist. If we resist what is so in this particular moment we will be giving energy to that which we would like to change. We feed the beast. Stop feeding the beast and that beast will disappear.

I am a fan of Eckhart Tolle. In his bestselling book, “The Power of Now”, he describes acceptance as this. Imagine you fell into quicksand. Your first instinct is to resist it by flailing your arms wildly to get out. The only thing you achieve by resisting is frustration, panic and exhaustion so you end up sinking. If you just accept what is so, “Ok, I just fell into quicksand. I accept that. It is what is so.”, this frees you up to begin to create a way out – and you do! Acceptance is not agreement. I must stress this. Accepting is acknowledging and allowing something to just be. Once we have done just that, then we can began to move into a solution driven direction with ease. Answers to our questions are free to come to us – physically and mentally. We are an open channel for guidance.

Life is fluid. It can occur as if what is happening to us in the moment is permanent. We are stuck and we begin to get resigned in life. If we remind ourselves that it just appears that way BUT is actually is not the truth, it is a step in the right direction for finding the change we seek.

Life is also unpredictable. If we can accept that as part of the beauty in life then we can create the ability to embrace what ever comes along, even if it is painful.

Life will bring many challenges, such as the loss of someone we love, and it is truly challenging to embrace “what is so” when we are suffering. Yet, if we start cultivating acceptance in our lives right now, we will cope with future crises in an empowered way finding the positivity in the situation. It really is a powerfully effective way to live. Begin today to just BE with what is so. Notice how life is different and notice how you respond to undesirable things as they show up and how insignificant and manageable they become. You will be amazed!

Meditation on the Go!

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

Bust up stress, anxiety and panicky feelings in the middle of your day, in the middle of the city, in the middle of doing something. Be here now and let go anywhere. We all know, it’s not always an easy feat to find a quiet, undisturbed spot to meditate especially when you find yourself in the eye of a stressful storm that comes on unexpectedly. That is why I’ve created these top 3 top ways to meditate while you are on the go!

1. Driving mediation: This is a great way to clear the past and the future, release tension and just be here now while stuck in traffic.  Take a look at what is around you. Chose something to notice. Maybe it’s a billboard, a building or perhaps a person walking down the street.  Just observe it/them without mentally creating opinions, stories, criticisms, etc. Just notice them. Once you feel you have noticed all there is to notice move on to another subject. Continue to do this while you are not having to pay attention to driving. Notice the space that opens up in you. Notice how you are simply being. Notice how life is suddenly manageable and possibly perfect!

2. Sitting Meditation: This meditation is a great way to ground yourself. You can do it while waiting. Waiting for your car to be repaired, waiting in an office reception area, or simply when you need to clear the mental chatter that has gotten so loud you can’t think straight. It’s also a wonderful way to banish anxiety. It’s called, 5,4,3,2,1. Take a full, deep breath from your belly up. After exhaling fully, count 5 things you see, hear and physically feel. Continue the exercise with 4 things you see, hear and physically feel all the way down to 1. It’s ok if you happen to be in quiet place and you only hear 2-3 things, just repeat whatever sound you hear. You will be left feeling profoundly related to reality – the now. Clarity follows and so does peace.

3. Walking Meditation: This one is a little like the driving meditation only you incorporate breathing deeply from the abdomen up while you observe the things you pass. Be with your surroundings. Notice the sky, the birds and whatever else is around you and connect with the beauty of it. If you get really good at this, you will hear nature saying, “Everything is ok” putting you at ease, synchronicity and flow.

Benefits:

1. Builds concentration – we all need this in the ADD world we live in.

2. Learn to automatically release tension – use these exercises frequently and you can learn to immediately drop tension as easily and quickly as flipping a switch.

3. Get out of your “imagination on fire” and get powerfully related to reality.

4. Allows you to be fully present – did you know that charisma is a product of being fully present? Who doesn’t want the charisma of a movie star or hero/heroine?

5. Creates strong connections with others and extraordinary experiences will follow. Get ready to be enchanted!

6. Provides perspective – this is one thing we often want when dealing with the challenging aspects or dilemmas of our lives – some distance.  I say, bring it on!

7. Improves intuition – have you ever wanted the “right” answer to show up? Well, it can and will if there is an empty, unblocked channel for it to show up in what is called your higher self. Also, provides clarity, which promotes peace and offers pathways we couldn’t access otherwise.

There you have it. No more excuses! Learn to meditate anywhere and anytime despite where you are, what is going on around you or how busy you are. It’s easy, very doable and the rewards are instant and plentiful.

Dark Places We Find Ourselves In

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

Sometimes it’s the darkness that leads us to our brightest light.

We often just want to go to where we envision our lives to be. We dream, have goals, we create plans and we want to experience it now. We desire happiness, health and success! When life leads us to places we don’t want to go we often interpret it to mean something’s wrong or we’ve made a mistake somehow. The truth is life is doing us a favor by presenting us a breakdown to overcome so we are better equipped for life’s breakthroughs. Difficulties are a sign that we need to wake up and work on something that needs our attention.

Often we need to “hit rock bottom” in order to soar. When we surrender to the process of working out a breakdown we are taking the first step into transformation. It allows us to realize there is something within the domain of what we don’t know we don’t know that creates the humbleness that moves us to discovering something new and necessary for our evolution and growth. Incomplete past experiences that have restricted our world and enslaved us in negativity is what there is to pay attention to. What mental conversations are going on in our mental chatter? These are the clues to what needs to be transformed, what we need to re-construct. Everything can be interpreted either positively or negatively. What are we going to choose? To find the good in what was disappointing and find the lessons we are to learn sets us free.

As with Dorothy in the “Wizard of Oz” we are all on a gold-bricked road that can suddenly turn dark. It’s when we remember that there is no City of Oz that will provide the answers. It is within ourselves that we recognize we are whole and complete, here and now and all answers to whatever we are looking for is all within us. It is here we find the courage, inspiration and perfection that exists everywhere.

Having a mentor or coach is wonderful way to provide guidance and assist us with what we are working on and help identify what we sometimes can not see for ourselves.

Is it Love or Longing?

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

When we experience the emotion love in its purest form we feel whole and complete, totally fulfilled wherever we are and despite whatever is going on in our outer world.

Do you ever get that feeling of emptiness within, longing for someone or something to love within your life? The holiday season may illicit feelings of loss or longing.  We often feel like our happiness depends on it and even may feel our lives can not move forward until we fill that void. We think that the love we are looking for will set us free and give us a reason for living our lives in a fulfilling way and in a way, yes, we are correct yet the love we seek resides within us not outside of us even though the illusion tells us otherwise.

A sense of longing is actually inauthentic to our true selves. Longing says something is missing when the truth is we are whole and complete at all times. Love is who we essentially are. We came into the world with a sense of unbroken love radiating within us.  As babies we felt connected to that endless love. It just is. We just were being pure love at all times. Yes, we needed our basic physical needs looked after but our energy was pure love until we reached the stage of development were there was a break in that sense of belonging – of feeling whole and complete.

“Somewhere along the line we lost the connection to the love we are. It’s still there even though we may not experience the connection to it. It never went anywhere, we just need to re-connect to it.”

Practicing self-love by cultivating and nurturing it within ourselves helps us to bridge the gap that got created. Experiencing love for what is around us connects us to our authentic love-filled selves. Providing us with the satisfying experience of being fulfilled, fully alive, grateful – all aspects of love being expressed.

Ahead are tips for cultivating and re-connecting to self-love, the source of living a fulfilling and happy life.

Distinguishing self-love from narcissism:

Simply put, self-love places focus on the inner and outer worlds connecting the two.

Narcissism is focusing on oneself with the exclusion of everyone and everything else.

Accessing self-love:

• Practice gratitude for everything
• Finding the beauty within yourself and outside in the world that surrounds us
• Paying attention to and taking care of your needs and wants, physically emotionally and spiritually
• Acknowledging and appreciating all that you are, not all that you aren’t and all that you do, not all that you don’t do not matter how insignificant it appears
• Honoring and speaking up for what works for you and what doesn’t
• Creating boundaries when it comes to what and who we let into our lives whether it be a distressing news report, negative people, or unhealthy consumption of any kind
• Allow your self to keep growing and view challenges as opportunities for breakthroughs
• Being keeping your promises whether they are made to ourselves or others
• Taking responsibility for the way our lives are is power. So if something we created in our lives isn’t aligned to what we are truly up to experiencing we are free to create something else and make different choices
• Be kind and forgiving towards yourself yet make an effort to learn from your mistakes and hold yourself accountable for improving
• Give yourself a safe space to express and experiencing your emotions by letting them flow through you without holding on to them

5 Ways to Let Go of Pain – Be Free!

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

Giving something up can be the way to having everything.

Let’s face it – life hurts. There is no human being on the planet that hasn’t experienced emotional pain and/or trauma.

It’s an awful experience. Yes, agreed.

So, there is pain and what you do with pain is what is most important. Wouldn’t you rather be living your life fully again? Enjoying all that is wonderful and awe-inspiring or be stopped by the past incident that cannot be undone and continue suffering over it? No one truly wants to suffer so let’s explore the alternative.

Putting the blame on others is a seemingly easy enough way to handle the situation. We feel like someone let us down or did us wrong and we are owed an apology. We think they need to “own up” to what they did.

“Blaming others and not taking responsibility for ourselves is the fastest way to being powerless in our lives and leaves us stuck with anger, resentment and no resolving of the pain we feel.”

Yes, you have valid feelings. It’s important to acknowledge them and express them fully but put a limit on how long you feel them. You can even say to yourself, “For the next 15-30 minutes I am going to cry my eyes out, write in my diary or say out loud how I feel and feel it 100% and then I am going to move forward with my day/night”. Getting into the habit of indulging in your grief is a vicious cycle. Remember, you are the one hurting more than the other person if you continue to “live” your pain over and over. It’s a balance. A balance of embracing what’s there for you to express and putting it away for the rest of the day or preferably resolving it and moving on.

5 Ways to Move Through Pain

The pathway to happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction in your life is to make room for it. If you are full of sadness, anger, bitterness how can the opposite show up for you?

1. Make a choice to let go

Things do not resolve themselves without you choosing it. If you avoid making a conscious effort to move on you could be setting yourself up to continue to keep the pain alive and drag it around in your life and even effecting your outer world in a negative way.

Choosing to let it go also means you are accepting that you have the choice to do so. You can decide to stop playing the story over and over in your mind every time you think of that person.

2. As mentioned before, an important step to moving on is expressing your pain. Find ways that are satisfying and healthy. Experiment with the tips mentioned above. Find a great listener, someone who you look up to.

Even though you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the pain you’ve experienced, look to see what you are responsible for. What can you learn from this experience and do differently in the future? Choosing to be less free and trusting is not necessarily a great choice versus being more aware of what is actually being communicated before all hurt broke loose. Learn to really understand and get to know people before “jumping in”. The most successful relationships were built as friendships where mutual respect and admiration can grow. Consider taking communication classes. Ultimately, will you choose to become wiser from the experience or a victim?

3. Don’t choose to be a victim, choose to be a winning warrior

Being a victim can feel pretty good. We don’t have to take responsibility or take a good look at ourselves. But being a victim is like donning a costume of a decrepit zombie and that is just not who we authentically are. Your feelings are worthy but when we allow ourselves to wallow in them it becomes at the expense of everyone else in the world and we all matter – equally.

The good news is that we have a choice in every given moment. We can continue to feel bad about someone else’s actions (or lack of actions) or decide to feel GOOD! Taking responsibility for your own happiness is power and giving your power over to someone else to determine how you feel is absurd. No amount of obsessively thinking about a painful situation has ever fixed a relationship issue. So why choose it?

4. Be Here Now – In the Present Moment

Do you really know what it feels like to be powerfully present in the now? How liberating, freeing and just good it feels? Here’s an exercise that will help you get related to reality – now.

Either out loud or in your head notice 5 things you hear (if there are not five you can repeat something). Now, 5 things you see and 5 things you physically feel. Repeat the same exercise working your way down to 1.  5-4-3-2-1. When you’ve completed the exercise notice how you feel, your surroundings and your thoughts. Suddenly reality has taken over your imaginings.

5. Forgive Them as Well as Yourself

Perhaps we won’t forget someone’s poor behavior, but everyone is deserving of our forgiveness, including ourselves. Sometimes getting trapped in pain makes it occur like forgiveness isn’t an option, yet it is. Forgiveness is empathy and empathy connects us to the beauty, love and laughter in life. Accepting “what is” doesn’t mean you are agreeing with what happened. That it is ok to happen again and again and again but that it is ok that it happened once. Forgiveness is a true sign of strength because that is actually where strength comes from.

Forgiving yourself is just as important. Identify what you said to yourself aboutyourself after the breakdown occurred. That is what you want to forgive yourself for. For inventing and taking on a lie as if it is truth. Anything disempowering is inauthentic to who we truly are. Create something new, the truth, to live by.

Although letting go takes an effort. It requires us to be courageous, to be committed to our happiness and health. Everyday you hold on to pain is another day lost to it. Go ahead. You can do it. Choose to implement these exercises in your life and set yourself, and everyone else, free!

Avoidance….Avoidance….Avoidance.

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

WHEN WE SUMMON UP THE COURAGE THAT LIVES WITHIN US AND CONFRONT THE THINGS WE WANT TO AVOID WE THEN HAVE ACCESS TO BREAKTHROUGHS AND GROWTH THAT OTHERWISE WOULD HAVE BEEN IMPOSSIBLE.
We’ve all had the experience of taking on something we dread only to discover a sense of accomplishment and empowerment on the other side of completion. We uncover the confidence and strength that was lying dormant within us. We awaken our true spirit and part of the reason we are here. It’s a wonderful opportunity to learn that what we fear is actually nothing to fear at all. Instead we feel free, enlivened and renewed.

If we chose to put something off or avoid it because it scares us or causes us to feel stopped inside it may be because we think that it will cause something to change that we are not ready to experience. This is a false illusion and the way we know this is by the obstacles in life that show up when we choose avoidance. We are off-track but unclear as to why. The fear that stops us is why. The acronym for fear is False Experience Appearing Real. We actually feel lighter and relieved when we complete something we didn’t want to. Alternatively, if we choose to remain in our comfort zone we will take ourselves off our synchronistic path connected to the source of all creation and our lives won’t work as we intend or desire.

In this moment, there is at least one thing we have in our lives that is currently left undone. Making that task top priority and completing before all else (or as soon as possible) will liberate us, invigorate us, and re-create who we identify ourselves to be. We will unleash incredible energy within our lives that will fuel us for our future with confidence!

Rebirth is the Energy of Spring

• Sterling Mire
• February 14, 2019

Spring is the season in our lives for rebirth and renewing – physically and spiritually.

It is the first month of spring in our year of 2018. You may even sense that it is time to spring clean your home or feel an urge to let go and begin anew. I am noticing that nature is signaling this movement forward and we can follow its lead. Just the yesterday, I noticed a beautiful plant with a single azure colored flower was blooming within a concrete crack. A sign that even if there is pressure around us we can still penetrate the forces within us that wants to hold us back and spring forth a new branch of ourselves.

I have recently removed carpeting and installed hardwood floors in my home and also filled up at least six huge bags of clothes and other things to donate from my home. I want to be lighter and hold on to less stuff – physically, emotionally and spiritually. While doing so, it caused me to reevaluate my priorities, and notice I am ready to welcome in new things, people, events and situations into my life. I feel like I am really in the here and now, not bogged down with what was.

Below I have highlighted four of our services to help you clear, organize, and bring more beauty into your own life. All services are powerful in their own right. See which one speaks to you – in the here and now.

The AOM System by Get Your Life Now. This is one of our all-time best-selling services. Receive powerful tools to free yourself from past burdens emerging in the bright light of the future, unencumbered and inspired to move into the destiny of your dreams. This revolutionary system is everything you need to live the life you envision – quickly, effortlessly and joyously.  This 30 day course will transform all areas of your life. Available in person or via phone, FaceTime, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts and FaceBook.

ReNew You by Intuitive Life by Sterling is a one time session either in person or via phone or live video as all services are offered. Start anew, start fresh, re-invent your relationship to anything in your life into a place of total empowerment. Move from being held back to total freedom!

Life Coaching on the Go! By Intuitive Life by Sterling. This 4 week course allows you to go at your own pace. Each week you will be given a new course that is designed to create a break-though in your life. These exercises are fun, easy and can be done anywhere/anytime and as many times as you’d like to create the empowering results you are looking for. Enjoy this online course at a special spring rate of 50% off!

Refresh – 15 min. Green Guided Meditation – a free gift from Intuitive Life by Sterling. Download this fast-acting meditation to any device and enjoy its restorative powers.

I want to thank all of you for the wonderful open-hearted feedback and “thank you” messages sharing stories of your own personal break-through’s and achievements. It is such an honor and privilege to know and work with you!

Magical miracles,
Sterling Mire

The Price of Freedom – 25 Ways to Let Go and Reclaim Your Power!

• Sterling Mire
• January 1, 2019

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.

We get stuck in the past. We tend to relive past mistakes over and over again in our head instead of completing them and letting them go. This causes us to experience feelings of shame, frustration and guilt and we allow those emotions to shape our actions in the present. We hold on to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of obsessing somehow gives us power over our fears. It is actually the opposite. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of tension as the norm.

There will never be a time when life is simple. There will always be time to practice accepting that. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Here are some ways to get started:

How To Let Go Of Upsets Within Your Life

1. Learn a new skill. Instead of dwelling on the skills you never mastered.

2. Become complete with the situation. Either accept there is nothing you can do about the circumstance and let it go or recognize that there is and do it. Maybe an apology and asking for forgiveness is due. You’d be surprised how powerful something as simple as being responsible and cleaning up life’s messes can be.

3. Cry it out. According to Dr. William Frey II, PH.D. biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress.

4. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action. Make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer.

5. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment. A great exercise is the “Being Present” exercise I give to my clients. Try this while showering, driving, or doing the dishes. Simply take in all that you are perceiving without judgments, opinions, stories. Notice something, observe it fully and then move on to something else. Great stress buster and it also allows you to be related to reality powerfully and make better choices in life.

6. Make a list of your accomplishments, even the small ones, and add to it daily. You’ll have to let go of a little discontentment to make space for this self-satisfaction. Post this somewhere where you will see it often. Bathroom mirror. Front door to your bedroom or home and take it in before you leave.

7. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how things should be or should have been, mentally shelve the thoughts in this box.

8. Engage in a physical activity. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind.

9. Focus all your energy on something you can control. Instead of dwelling on things you can’t, make a difference in someone else’s world. Clean up clutter in the home. Wash the car inside and out. Make fun plans just for yourself or with a friend.

10. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. Add this to your to-do list and cross it off when you’re done. This will be a visual reminder that you have actively chosen to release these feelings.

Let go of Anger and Bitterness

11. Feel it fully. If you stifle your feelings, they may leak out and affect everyone around you—not just the person who inspired your anger. Before you can let go of any emotion, you have to feel it fully and express it safely.

12. Give yourself a rant window. Let yourself vent for a day before confronting the person who troubled you. This may diffuse the hostility and give you time to plan a rational confrontation.

13. Remind yourself that anger hurts you more than the person who upset you. Visualize it melting away as an act of kindness to yourself.

14. If possible, express your anger to the person who offended you. Communicating how you feel is a powerful solution for moving on if done responsibly. Express yourself intelligently with calm, thoughtful and clear articulate words. Write it out first and practice. Give the other person an opportunity to apologize. Refrain from just spewing all over someone. This only causes them to be defensive as they will feel attacked and you will feel like a mess coming out of an emotional hurricane. Keep in mind that you can’t control how the other responds; you can only control how clearly and kindly you express yourself.

15. Take responsibility. Many times when you are upset, you focus on what someone else did that was wrong, which essentially gives away your power. When you focus on what you could have done better, you often feel empowered and less bitter.

16. Put yourself in the offender’s shoes. We all make mistakes, and odds are you could have easily slipped up just like your husband, father, or friend did. Compassion dissolves anger.

17. Remind yourself these are your only three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it or accept it. These acts create happiness; holding onto bitterness never does.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

18. Identify what the experience taught you to help develop a sense of closure.

19. Remember both the good and the bad. Even if it appears this way now, the past was not perfect. Acknowledging this may minimize your sense of loss. As Laura Oliver says, “It’s easier to let go of a human than a hero.”

20. Un-romanticize the way you view love. Of course you’ll feel devastated if you believe you lost your soul mate. If you think you can find a love that amazing or better again, it will be easier to move on.

21. Visualize an empowered single you—the person you were before meeting your last love. That person was pretty awesome, and now you have the chance to be him or her again.

22. Create a space that reflects your present reality. Take down his pictures; delete her emails from your saved folder.

23. Reward yourself for small acts of acceptance. Get a facial after you delete his number from your phone, or head out with friends after putting all her things in a box.

24. Hang this statement somewhere you can see it. “Loving myself means letting go.”

25. Replace your emotional thoughts with facts. When you think, “I’ll never feel loved again!” don’t resist that feeling. Instead, move on to another thought, like “Hey, I learned a new song for karaoke tonight.”

These 25 steps will allow you to take back and experience your personal freedom and power again putting you on the path you desire. The outcomes that follow is the stuff dreams are made of!