Written by Sterling Mire
When we are preoccupied with worries about the future, we are actually helping bring those fear-based thoughts into reality.
When we say or think to ourselves what we don’t want versus what we do want, we are breathing life into the very thing we are trying to avoid. It’s been ingrained in us to push, fight and resist against the things we do not desire in order to bring forth that which we do desire. We were actually taught the opposite of what we should be doing to bring the desirable into our lives and keep the undesirable out of our lives. This is why we tend to obsess about what we are trying to avoid.
I always emphasize, when working with clients, that the key to creating and ushering in our heart-felt deep desires is by first allowing, not resisting, what is currently our situation. What we resist persists.
For instance, if we are feeling financially pinched, yet we desire abundance, we must first acknowledge, “what is so” and accept it, without making it bad or wrong. When
we are simply able to accept it as the current circumstance, without creating stories around it, we are exercising non-resistance, therefore, we stop the persistence of the situation, in this case it’s scarcity. Now that we have stopped the “growth” of scarcity, we now have a clearing, a space, for creating that which we do want: abundance. Now, abundance has the space to not only be created, but to flourish!
This is one of the essential keys to manifesting. Without it we will just be spinning our wheels, going nowhere fast.
Can you list some of the things you would like to have or experience in your life that seems to be eluding you? Occurs to be unattainable? Can you identify what you are resisting about that situation?
Consider this: everything you want wants YOU! There is nothing in this world that is standing in your way. No circumstances, no people, no hindrances, limitations or constraints that you have not created yourself, consciously or unconsciously. If you are the only one blocking you from experiencing your ideal life, then the good news is you are the only one who can change all of that! When we consciously create, we can move mountains in seconds and achieve each and every one of our utmost heart’s desires easily, effortlessly and joyously! Once you’ve tapped into this magical realm you’ll be completely amazed at how life actually works and how so much of what you previously understood was actually backwards.
And, consider that you can have everything your wildest imagination can think up and that you already possess everything you need. All you need now are the tools and know-how to tap into your version of heaven on earth!
Written by Sterling Mire
Everything happens for a reason in our lives. There is always a purpose.
The road we are on to fulfill our goals and dreams can occur as challenging, confusing and complicated although it need not be. We derail ourselves when we lose faith and lose sight of the bigger picture. Distractions and details obscure our ability to see if we are on the right track or not. Often times we question our abilities to fulfill on something we desire. We wonder what is the purpose of our existence. Why am I here and what is this thing called life? Where do I fit in? We should move forward trusting that we are exactly where we are suppose to be and find the value with where we currently are. Paying attention to where we are now, instead of worrying about some future event, is where we should be focusing our thoughts.
The universe is helping us towards our deepest desires. It listens to our inner commitments, whether they are what we intend or not. In other words, if we want to change jobs but deep down we doubt we are ready for such a change, the universe will honor the doubt we have. It will keep us where we are, where we are really committed to being, which is stuck in the familiar versus change.
The first place to start is to examine how ready we are for the changes we so wish to experience. Are we saying to ourselves, “No matter what lies ahead, I am ready to take the plunge and move forward into the world of possibility!” If we feel that what we desire resonates with us on every level, then we are ready to embrace those thoughts, those dreams and experience them in the physical realm. We must then trust the universe knows and honors our authentic wishes and will help us to bring it into fruition. The assistance and opportunities will show up when it is time, not when we think it’s time. The universe knows best when something is to be. In hindsight, when our vision materializes, we will then understand the perfection of timing orchestrated by the universe and not what our logical mind tries contrive. Usually, we will look back and say to ourselves, “Wow! It makes sense as to why this is the best time for this to happen. I never would’ve figured that out beforehand. The universe really does know better how to fill in the details of, when, what, how it would unfold. I don’t need to worry about figuring all of that out. All I need to do is clarify my wishes and move forward with unwavering faith!” You also discover how simple and easy life is to live and the journey becomes joyous, freeing and fulfilling as things germinate and come into existence.
Nothing happens without reason. If you are wondering about your purpose in life, simply clarify and embrace the things that resonate with you. Start with anything that is in alignment with what speaks to your heart and soul. If you like being with children, maybe a place to start is to donate your time to a Children’s Hospital or babysit on off nights. Or maybe you are interested in living a more soulfully satisfying life a good place to start may be to read The DailyOm for daily inspirational articles that propel you into the right direction. Taking action to move the energy forward is far more effective than waiting for the “perfect thing” to fall into your lap. The universe helps those who help themselves and generating movements forward will bring new ideas or ideal opportunities to you. The universe wants to assist you and will if you connect with its energy to help guide you by trusting, knowing it is there to guide you. Life’s journey can be a rich and satisfying one with the destination simply a part of the ride and not the most important aspect of living a fulfilling life.
There are times when we unconsciously disconnect from the source of all creation in an effort to escape pain that comes with confronting our issues.
There are times when we feel helpless and ineffective in our lives. These are the times we become disconnected from the source of all authentic creative expression. Often the reason for this is self-sabotage.
We unconsciously, yet intentionally, separate ourselves from our source of power rendering us powerless in our own lives. It is all done in an effort to avoid painful issues, although, these issues are calling to us to pay attention, work through, and therefore experience a breakthrough that takes us to a new plateau in our world. This new level of existence allows us to feel stronger, become wiser, become more successful and understand the inner workings of life and our true purpose in life. When we align to our soul’s purpose and take on the challenges that come with our lives, we become more empowered to create that which we are truly excited and inspired to experience.
By unconsciously choosing to disconnect and interrupt the flow of creativity from our source, you are actually choosing to sleepwalk through life and our vision for our lives and future become hazy and scattered. Our creative source has not abandoned you, it was you who chose to abandon it. The choice to reconnect is and always been solely your choice as it was when the choice was made to block and unplug from the source of all creation. Dr. Wayne Dyer goes on to say in his article, “Spiritual Disconnect”., “Ask yourself this key question, “How do I feel most of the time?” If your answer is that you feel anxious, anguished, hurt, depressed, frustrated, and so on, then you have a spiritual disconnect.
When we come back to the source, we are coming back to our true selves. This gives us a sense of being profoundly related to reality, security and the ability to see our lives clearly. We can reconnect by taking ourselves to a place that inspires you like nature. We can also engage in activities that allow us to feel fully alive. What is it that touches, moves and inspires you?
When were the times you felt centered, profoundly blissful and alive? Make a list and work from there. We can also create a powerful intention to reconnect with a 5, 10, 30 minute meditation where ever we are. If you live a busy life, try my Meditation on the Go exercises. They are pocket-sized meditations but deliver powerful results in just minutes.
When we’ve lost our connection to the universe, our sense of purpose, direction, fulfillment and satisfaction in our lives become non-existent. We may also feel a total lack in our lives: lack of love, lack of energy and a lack of motivation. Yet, we can always remember who we really are by restoring our connection whenever we are ready. When it’s time to come alive again and soar we will be experiencing a whole new level in life richer in experience and knowledge, less fearful next time we are called into looking at our lives and confronting what’s not working.
“she struggled to find happiness in her life”
“trying to rediscover the happiness we once knew”
1. Take time out on a daily basis and simply get present to what you are grateful for. Gratitude brings more things to be grateful about. Even being grateful for it all brings the desirable things that you want! For example: If you feel you are in a dead end job that you want to change, be grateful for the job you have. Expressing gratitude has a magical way of bringing more reasons to be grateful in your future.
2. Smile. Smile at the people you interact with. Smile when you talk on the phone (people do pick up on it). Smile when you exercise. Smile when you are driving in traffic. Smile when you are alone at home. The simple act of smiling can transform any ordinary day into an extraordinary day!
3. Acknowledge people. Acknowledge the cashier. Acknowledge your loved ones. Acknowledge yourself. Acknowledgement brings people closer, creates a space for new possibilities and highlights what is working facilitating more stuff that we want that works!
4. Take time out to commune with nature. Nature has healing energy, energy we call negative ions. This energy tends to diminish the inauthenticity’s that we pick up from living in the modern world leaving us feeling refreshed, peaceful and with a perspective that is rooted in liberating truth.
5. Don’t forget about you! In this day and age we are multi-tasking, trying to find ways of getting more done faster and better. We are taking care of others but are we taking care of ourselves? Set aside time each week that is just for you. Do something at least three times a week that is just for you and keep it sacred. That means no interruptions. It’s time to stop the world and focus on you and your needs and wants. It doesn’t have to take much time just as long as it’s something that you relish and cherish.
6. Eat well and I don’t mean like a sumo wrestler! Eat healthy foods that not only make you feel good, alive and vital but make you proud of your choice. Healthy foods don’t have to take time or cost a lot of money. Take a few minutes out to look up healthy and easy recipes online. Even try a few days of eating vegan http://www.chooseveg.com/vegan-on-a-budget-17-easy-affordable-recipes-2 All it takes is looking at the alternatives out there and changing your point of view. It’s easier than you think!
7. Give up negative self-talk. When we criticize ourselves we lose power. The very power that leads us to better solutions and better choices for our future. No need to be in denial about something that is not working, but recognize it for just that – something that isn’t working and look for alternatives. Drop judgments about yourself and others and you will see new openings for action and possibilities that didn’t exist before. Funny how that works!
8. Romance the day! Yes, fall in love with the day. Notice the sun, the clouds, the birds singing, notice the flowers that you pass by or the cute little perky doggies that pass by wagging their tails with excitement for the day. Let it touch you, move you, inspire you! Find the beauty anywhere and everywhere and your creative side will thrive!
9. Let the news snooze. Getting your daily dose of the news distorts your view of the outer world and creates anxiety, depression in your inner world. The media gets paid to shock and rock your senses putting stress in your life about things you can not do anything about. If you want to know what’s going on in the world subscribe to the online sitehttp://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/ about the good news in the world. That’s the kind of news that can make a happy difference in your life!
10. Spend more time with family and friends face to face. Turn the electronic world off and really be with people. Engage in conversations and really listen to what others have to say. Share your feelings and thoughts and open yourself up. Express your appreciation, respect and love. You may just find yourself in one of the happiest places on earth!
1. They Love Challenges. Challenges are seen as opportunities not breakdowns. When unexpected or undesirable circumstances arise they look to themselves to transform the situation and love it. It is a gateway to accessing their personal power.
2. They Are Open-Minded. They inquire and ask questions of those around them. Keeping an open mind while hearing what others have to say can cause an “Ah ha” moment to show up. Being curious creates possibilities that were not previously considered.
3. They Take Responsibility. Taking responsibility means not blaming others or circumstances for when things don’t happen as planned. When we take responsibility for everything that shows up in our lives then we access the power to effect change. Apologizing and asking for forgiveness as well as promising to learn from mistakes and do better in the future is true power and integrity.
4. They Are Unstoppable. Failure has no inherent meaning. Successful and happy people know this. We create the meanings: what it means about our situation, ourselves and our world. We also have the option to create failure to mean “keep going” until we reach our destination.
5. They Engage in Healthy Competition: Competition to them does not mean that there is lack in the world so they better wipe out the competition to claim their piece of the pie. It means: they are inspired by what others create knowing that they too can create something of value. Their creations are unique unto themselves because they, the creators, are unique and therefore there is no competition in the traditional sense of the word in their world.
6. They Create Win-Win Situations. They know that there is a way to create situations that attends to everyone’s needs and wants and they won’t stop until they find and create the way.
7. They Nurture Relationships. Happy and Successful people know relationships are everything. They go out of their way to contribute to others knowing that it also helps them to feel purposeful and deepen their bonds with others. Great relationships not only provide the means for successful outcomes but also provides true fulfillment in living life. Being complete at all times in relationships leaves everyone feeling whole and complete and also able to move forward in the world with peace and gratitude.
8. They Give Up Doubting. Their fuel for life is faith. Doubting to them is pointless and leads to nowhere. The stronger the faith, the lesser the doubt, the more certain the outcome!
9. They Read. Extraordinary people read books, blogs, articles, breakthrough news that inspires them, provides knowledge, develops their spiritual side, sparks new ideas, empowers them to broaden their world. Biographies of other extraordinary people, www.goodnewsnetwork.org, and educational books causes motivated action.
10. They Take Care of Themselves. They know the secret to life is quality, not quantity. They also know that if they sleep well, exercise, eat healthy, take time out to relax, live a balanced life, participate in games that involve their growth as a human being, and commune with nature they will be more effective, productive, happy, and useful to themselves, the people in their lives and to the world as a whole.
It appears that people can make us feel a range of emotions; happy, sad, angry, frustrated, euphoric, disappointed, depressed and the list goes on. The truth is this is an illusion. We live in a society that has convinced us that happiness lies outside of us, within our environment and through the things we accumulate. Here is a perfect example of how we have learned this way of understanding life’s happiness. A mother sees her young child crying. The mother enthusiastically offers the child a cookie. The child then seeing his/her mother smiling (happy) makes the association with the cookie as an object that possesses happiness. We could take it a bit further and look at how the cookie has an effect on the child’s brain reinforcing the idea of where happiness lies. Let’s look at the effect of the sugar in the cookie. Sugar is known to light up the reward pathways and cause a surge of feel-good hormones, like dopamine, to be released. As a result, we feel good and “happy”. The child easily confuses the cookie, or any other thing the child learns to associate with happiness, as where happiness lies.
People’s Energy DOES Have an Effect On Us
True. We are all energy. We transmit energy. We receive energy. Yet, energy changes all the time so if someone’s happy and we feel the effects of it we begin to associate thatthat is where happiness lies. We begin to confuse, once again, where happiness lives. “That person makes me happy!” or “That person makes me upset”. It may not be that we consciously want to blame or hold someone accountable for our state of being. It could be that we simply are confused as to where happiness truly is.
Taking responsibility for how we feel is one of the most valuable lessons we can learn in life. Choosing how we feel is a conscious action. We must be fully aware to make this choice. Noticing how we feel is the first step. To choose how we want to feel in a way that is authentic and actually works is to first allow what is so to be. To simply allow it to exist. Allowing is not agreeing. Allowing is allowing. Once we allow what is, then we can make a conscious choice to choose how we want to feel. Once you choose an empowering emotion, take a moment to connect to what that feels like. Experience it fully. Maybe think of a happy memory and relive it. Embrace the feeling and let it wash over you and sink in. Then proceed with your life. It is quite simple but where people go wrong in choosing their emotions is leaving out the acceptance, allowing something to be as it is. What is surprising is that whatever undesirable emotion was being experienced will simply take care of itself and disappear.
Happiness is our birthright. Happiness is a skill. Like all skills, it must be practiced. When you have true happiness within, you are totally fulfilled and the things you engage in are not perceived as a pathway to lead you to happiness but an adventure you can embrace fearlessly with joy and out of the sheer excitement of being alive!
To discover more about happiness, I recommend a current documentary on NetFlix simply titled: “Happiness”. Filmmaker Roko Belic travels to more than a dozen countries, searching for the meaning of happiness.
Sterling is a celebrated professional life coach and a nationally published author. She works with clients all over the world. Her practice is located in Beverly Hills. For more information, please www.getyourlifenow.com
Have you ever been so wounded by someone that your emotions run deep and steady and letting go and moving on from the situation seems impossible? Transforming the situation and moving on is the only true answer if success, health and happiness is what you seek in life. But the question remains. Why?
Why forgive someone when they have acted so thoughtless, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, mean, cruel, and even evil? Answer: It keeps us stuck in our past.
When we truly forgive someone we are saying, “I want to move on in my life to a much better future than my past experiences. I want to reclaim my power and by holding on to negative feelings I am not only disconnected from the source of all creativity, but I am creating more of what I don’t want in my life by holding on to the negative emotions. Those negative energies being produced by my thoughts are attracting more of what I do not want in my life.”
Negative energy blocks us from accessing what we truly want in life: peace, happiness, total fulfillment and our dreams being realized. When we honestly choose forgiveness, we choose compassion and love and by giving that love and compassion to the person, we free ourselves. We return to our authentic self and re-connect to the universe (which is love). We align to our power that is connected to the power of the limitless universe which creates all things authentic and life-giving. We make a connection with the great Creator who co-creates with us everything in our world that is desirable and good. That is, if we are being our authentic self which is LOVE. Love is the energy that births forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and peace.
Isn’t life sweeter when we feel light, we experience inspiration, we feel loving and abundant? We can only truly, authentically, connect with those powerful energies that produce miracles by forgiving. That is why forgiveness is key.
Now, instead of just thinking about it and moving on from here with life’s distractions, start drawing up a list of people who need that forgiveness from you. Set them free, maybe even more importantly, set yourself free.
Many times what people say or do to us has nothing to do with us at all.
Have you ever had the experience where what someone does or says doesn’t seem to jibe with what is actually going on? Yet, we take their behavior personally and make it mean something disempowering about us leaving us confused, hurt and disappointed. It’s helpful to remember: people are more connected to their past experiences versus the experiences they would like to have in their future. That past can be what just happened 5 minutes prior or as far back as childhood. Taking things personally without taking a moment to think about where they could be coming from takes us off path.
We also have to be responsible for what we do and say. Could what we said or did provoke a particular response? If our intentions are benign but misunderstood, then we can apologize and clarify what we mean to the other person. If they refuse to forgive and hear the value in what we are trying to convey then we can walk away feeling satisfied with the responsibility and the action we took to remedy the situation. We can also see that there is something that person is personally dealing with that may have absolutely nothing to do with us but what they are struggling with in their own life. Be compassionate and loving and move on. We are all dealing with something in life. We are all evolving and being given the opportunity to grow and growth comes from our relationships. If this is a relationship that we are committed to, then we take move on by taking responsibility of our communications and distinguish if there is anything else we can do to help. Sometimes just being clear in our communications is all there is for us to do. We need to just give the other person some space to be with the situation and gain the understanding and clarity within themselves.
When you shift your attention to the bigger picture you may then notice that there was nothing you did that was inappropriate and can choose to not take it personally leaving you free of feeling attacked or blaming yourself for something that didn’t have anything to do with you. It’s up to you to retain your self-worth while knowing you are taking responsibility for your words and actions. This is the best way to live an empowered and satisfying life!
The way to prevent “feeling” is to numb out yet it’s only a temporary band-aid that never resolves our problems yet only makes them worse.
We are blessed to have our various, contrasting emotions. Without them we would not have an indication of how our lives are going. Our emotions let us know if our lives are working or not. Yet, although we embrace the good feeling emotions we deny embracing and allowing our not so good feeling emotions to exist.
We like to find ways to numb ourselves when we aren’t feeling so good yet uncomfortable emotions are an opportunity to pay attention to what we are feeling to trace where it is stemming from. Once we see where the emotion originated from we then have a golden opportunity to listen to that little voice in our head telling us something that helped create the experience of the very emotion we are trying to avoid feeling. Allowing that emotion to be and expressing it in a safe and constructive way helps clear away the debris that locks us in and blocks us from transforming it into something good.
Checking out with food, alcohol, sugar, shopping, the internet, cell phones, TV and other non-productive distractions are avenues we choose when we don’t want to deal with something. I often tell my clients as well as myself: “The only way to it is through it”. The only way we can get through what we are feeling and reconnect to the good stuff we seek in life is to confront what is causing our emotional dis-ease before it turns into physical disease.
When we confront our problems we are taking back our power instead of giving it away to numbing activities. We are also handsomely rewarded when we do this because we not only find a solution through it but we re-discover who we trulyare: courageous and strong. This leads us to peace and completion, healing and freeing us for the future.
There are various ways to delve into what is upsetting us so we can work through it. Meditation, communing with nature, talking to friends and family, journaling, consulting a professional advisor are some of the ways we can allow others to help us find our light. When we make it through what we are here to pay attention to and learn, we can move past the issue once and for all, putting it and keeping it in the past – where it belongs. Through the practice of confronting our issues we grow wiser, stronger and more confident in confronting the next set of life’s challenges. Yes, it’s very possible to grow to the point where we even welcome the challenges in life because we know we are that powerful to transform our situations and our emotions fearlessly!
Sterling offers all of her services at Get Your Life Now, her life coaching practice in Beverly Hills, California and through online, telephone and live video appointments. Ultimately, Sterling provides caring and passionate intuitive guidance, leading clients to the fulfilling, amazing lives that they've always intended.